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Donut Slayer

from Shark Party by Sam Mulligan

/

about

I wrote "Donut Slayer" so I would have something new to play at MAG Classic back in 2015. Thought it was a funny idea to have a metal song about eating donuts, so I went with it. On the drive from Philadelphia to Virginia, Solarbear tweaked the gameboy track, and made a few super dope alterations. One thing he did was make the main bass instrument so gnarly and massive that when we started the song live, I ran over to the gameboy to figure out what was wrong, but nothing was wrong - it was just too awesome for me to comprehend. I continued to make changes after that performance, and had to unfortunately tone down the intensity of that bass instrument to make room for guitar and my vocals, and I've always felt like kind of a dingus about it. Sorry, Solarbear. <3 u.

:/
-Sam

lyrics

Traveling the lands far and wide
The arctic North, the hot hot South
In search of circular pastries
To murder with my mouth
Oh yes, I've taken lives
Armed with naught but teeth and hands
When donuts see me comin'
They piss their donut pants

I am a donut slayer
Venture into my lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
I am a donut slayer
I catch the scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

Boston cream, lemon-filled, honey-dipped glaze
No donut is safe from my murderous gaze
The ones I see are all for me
And they'll have surely seen better days
Straight into my gaping maw
Never to be seen again
By way of monstrous jaws
All shall meet a violent end

I am a donut slayer
Venture into my lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
I am a donut slayer
I catch a scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

I don't care if it's raised or cake
I'll skip it's funeral and forget the wake
Honor thy life, cherish thy death
Make haste, lay waste to
Dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens

Eviscerating
Masticating
Time is wasting, no time for tasting
I take a dozen and I cram 'em down my gullet
Cuz you know I'm all business like the front of a mullet
Jelly stains are all that remains
Jelly stains are all that remains

I am a donut slayer
Venture into my lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
I am a donut slayer
I catch a scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

credits

from Shark Party, released April 6, 2018
LSDJ tweakin' by Curtis Ware (solarbearchiptunes.bandcamp.com)

Additional back-up vocals: Jonathan Chadwick, Brandon & Erin Hood

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Sam Mulligan

Sam Mulligan is a comedy+rock singer who specializes in sick guitar riffs and dope gameboy beats.

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