Sam Mulligan And The Donut Slayers

by Sam Mulligan

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about

Hi, I'm Sam! Please enjoy these full band versions of a few songs that, up until now, you probably have only heard played with gameboy accompaniment. I owe Adam, Claire, darmock, and Stemage a huge thank you for totally shredding so hard and sharing their talents with me to bring these songs new life. Can't wait to rock IRL.
<3
-Sam

credits

released December 21, 2018

drums & backing vocals by Adam Henry
backing vocals by Claire the Party Shark
bass guitar & backing vocals by darmock
lead vocals, guitar, gameboy by Sam Mulligan
lead guitar & backing vocals by Stemage

mixed & mastered by Stemage
all songs written by Sam Mulligan
recorded by Adam Henry, darmock, Sam Mulligan, & Stemage
album art by Ivan Neri

Thank you to Taters & MAGfest for helping this idea become an idea, thanks to Adam, Claire, darmock, and Stemage for being awesome making this album a reality, and thanks to all the donuts that paid the ultimate sacrifice in the process.

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about

Sam Mulligan Boston, Massachusetts

Sam Mulligan is a comedy/rock singer who specializes in sick guitar riffs and dope gameboy beats.

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Track Name: Looking For Sasquatch
Running around in the woods
With my pack full of survival goods
Not even sure if I should be out here looking for him at all
In my home-made furry pants
I do a little happy dance
'Cause I've got a chance to find out where he's hiding

Are you in the trees?
Could you be under this rock?
I'm eternally looking for sasquatch

I've invested a lot of time
All on my own dime
So could you give me a sign if you're out here?
A-HA! Hey, look at that…
Get in close and get a snapchat
That’s definitely Sasquatch crap, that means we're hot on the trail!

Are you in the trees?
Could you be under this rock?
I'm eternally looking for sasquatch

The longest game of hide and seek
That I've ever lost
Wherever you may be, one thing's for sure
You've got a pretty good hiding spot!

In all my years looking for Sasquatch I never found any physical evidence.
No hair, footprint…poop... A whole lot of nothing!
But I'll tell you what I did find.
A little part of myself.
And I did a lot of hiking, that was nice.
Key change!

Are you in the trees?
Could you be under this rock?
I'm eternally looking for sasquatch
I’m always looking, I’ll never give up!
Actually… you know what? I think I might give up.
Track Name: Ninja Song Part II (Slash Mix)
I've got my ninja sword
I'm gonna be a samurai
Someday you'll say, "He's so cool!"
Been practicing my slash
Now you'll give me all of your cash
Because I told you so

And when the day finally arrives
That I can say I'm a samurai
I'll also say, "I told you so"

I've got my ninja sword
I'm gonna be a samurai
Someday you'll say, "You killed my whole family"
Well BOO HOO

And when the day finally arrives
That I can say I'm a samurai
I'll also say, "I told you so"

And to all the enemy samurai warriors
I've got a little message for you
I'm gonna do what James Hetfield told me to do
Back in '82
Actually it might have been 1984 but I don't know
And I don't care

I'm gonna kill 'em all, I said I'm gonna kill 'em all
I'm gonna kill 'em all, I said I'm gonna kill 'em all
Cuz I want blood and guts and tendons in my teeth
I'm gonna turn their entrails into a holiday wreath
I'll be hackin' and slashin', I'll cut 'em into bits
I'm gonna kill them all until they die from it
Actually on second thought, I'm a pacifist
Don't wanna hurt nobody
So I'll just follow the sage advice of Lil Jon, here it is
"Don't start no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT*, won't be no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT*
Don't start no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT* won't be no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT*
Don't start no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT* won't be no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT*
Don't start no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT* won't be no *SLASH SOUND EFFECT*, yeah"
Track Name: Secret
I've got a secret
It's something you'd never expect
to hear from me
We've been friends such a long time

But I've got a secret
And I feel like it's time to let you know
Just promise that you're not gonna hate me
Whoa

Alright, alright, I’ll tell you what the secret is….
But you’re not gonna like it.

That smell in your car
That's been there for weeks
That smell in your car
It's you!
lalalalaaaa!
Track Name: Shark Party
The Great White's got a cool pad at the back of the reef
The Tiger sharks have been asking me for some Grade A seaweed
The Hammerhead skipped school,
The Nurse shark called in sick
The blue shark's acting sooo cool
But he won't tell me where it is, oh no

Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god

I saw a Thresher shark herding a school of Pabst Blue Ribbon fish.

I've been scuba diving 'round this reef for what seems an eternity
My feelings will be really hurt if it turns out they just didn't invite me
They're ignoring the seals, they're not eating the fishes
This is all extremely suspicious

Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god it's a shark party

So I find the party, right away I’m getting sour looks from some lemon sharks
TYPICAL
So I ask them, whats your deal?
They said, “Oh we’re not mad, we’re sad - we got dumped by our GILLfriends…”
Oh, that’s too bad. Cheer up chums, there’s plenty of fish in the sea!
Well NOW we’re just hungry! Fin-tastic!

Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god it's a shark party
Oh my god it's a shark party
Track Name: (We Are The) Donut Slayers
Traveling the lands far and wide
The arctic North, the hot hot South
In search of circular pastries
To murder with my mouth
Oh yes, I've taken lives
Armed with naught but teeth and hands
When donuts see me comin'
They pee their donut pants

We are the donut slayers
Venture into our lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
We are the donut slayers
We catch the scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

Boston cream, lemon-filled, honey-dipped glaze
No donut is safe from my murderous gaze
The ones I see are all for me
And they'll have surely seen better days
Straight into my gaping maw
Never to be seen again
By way of monstrous jaws
All shall meet a violent end

We are the donut slayers
Venture into our lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
We are the donut slayers
We catch the scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

I don't care if it's raised or cake
I'll skip it's funeral and forget the wake
Honor thy life, cherish thy death
Make haste, lay waste to
Dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens

Eviscerating
Masticating
Time is wasting, no time for tasting
I take a dozen and I cram 'em down my gullet
Cuz you know I'm all business like the front of a mullet
Jelly stains are all that remains
Jelly stains are all that remains

We are the donut slayers
Venture into our lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
We are the donut slayers
We catch the scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind
Track Name: Shark Potty (feat. Taters)
Lyrics by Taters

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